Holy Friends
At Annual Conference back in June, we had a couple of teaching sessions with Dr. Greg Jones, former Dean of Duke Divinity School. Greg offered insights about spiritual friendships that he and his wife, Dr. Susan Pendleton Jones, are forming into a new book. I wrote about spiritual friendships not too long ago, but the thoughts that Dr. Jones shared keep coming to my mind. When that happens, I know that I need to offer what I learned to others. So here is the heart of what we heard.
Dr. Jones based a portion of his teaching on 2 Corinthians 5, verse 17: “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!” He reminded us that when we become new creations in and through what Christ did for us, we enter into a whole new world. He described this new world as a place where we live in such a way that it doesn’t make sense to say that God does not exist. Everything we do and say, ways that we spend our time and money, and ways that we engage others point to the truth of God…the abundance of God…the grace of God. Of course, this new way of living is a life of openness and gratitude, a life that awaits the movement of the Holy Spirit in ways that we have not yet seen.
Greg told us that the more we live into this new world, a world where we participate in creating the Kingdom of God here on earth, the more we will interact with others. We were created by God to live in community. We will certainly engage others in beautiful ways as we work and serve on behalf of the least, the lost and the last. However, our greatest challenges will probably come as we live with those who are closest to us…those who see us day in and day out…those who are up close and personal. As we grow fully into our place in the Kingdom, the list of those who know us well will hopefully grow. God will call us to touch the lives of those we do not already know and allow them to touch us. That is really exciting to consider, but how do we practice greater love with those already in our inner circle?
To answer that, Dr. Jones shared three characteristics of holy friendships that I find extremely helpful. First, holy friends, according to the Joneses, challenge the sins that we have come to love. Greg defined sin as anything that diminishes, divides, fractures, and/or fragments us inside or in relationship with others. Jones believes that sin becomes a habit that chains us, and our holy friends help to give us freedom by challenging how we order our lives, including our time and resources. Second, holy friends affirm gifts that we afraid to claim. A holy friend recognizes the fruit of the Spirit growing within us, and tells us what she or he sees. It is often hard for us to name out loud positive things about ourselves because we fear being seen as prideful or arrogant. It is a gift to walk alongside those who will celebrate how they see God growing and blessing us. Lastly, Greg and Susan believe that holy friends help us to dream dreams we otherwise would never have dreamed. Related to the second characteristic, holy friends name what we are sometimes afraid to name. I have had the blessed experience of having a dear friend speak to me about a dream that has been on my heart, one that I have shared only with God. She invited me to lunch, and while we were dining, she gave voice to the very thing that I have dreamed about more than any other. What a holy moment! I knew that she could have only known what is in my heart by observing the movement of God in my life. To have another person consider you and gift you in such a way is truly a breath-taking moment.
For many reasons, this particular teaching keeps on teaching me. I want to be a holy friend, and I am becoming more aware of the truth that my relationship with God is reflected in my relationships with others. When I pause to consider that truth, even for a moment, I want to represent our Lord in the ways that Jesus modeled for us. As I seek to live more fully into this lofty goal, these guidelines help me to remember what engaging others in the name of Christ looks like. I hope these thoughts will help you to grow in your friendships, too.
As always, I am deeply grateful for you, my holy friends.
Love and blessings, LuAnn
